Taken by the T-Rex by Christie Sims & Alara Branwen – An Audiobook Review

Blurb:

Warning: This is a tale of beast sex. This story was written to unlock your darkest fantasies and innermost desires. It is not for the faint of heart and is not your mother’s erotica. All of the sexual descriptions found in this audiobook are very explicit in nature. It’s not suitable for someone under 18 years of age. Listen at your own risk.

Drin is her tribe’s chief huntress; she lives for the thrill of the hunt. Men and sex hold no allure for her, as Drin has never found a partner to satisfy her. When a T-Rex descends upon her village, destroying it, Drin demands that the tribe’s hunters go in search of the beast and slaughter it. Opting for safety instead of revenge, the tribe moves to a new location, hoping that the big beast won’t follow them.

It does.

Drin taunts the beast, giving her tribes mates time to flee. As she runs, leading it through a gauntlet of traps, the thrill of the hunt soars through her blood, leaving her wet with desire. When the angry T-Rex corners the huntress in a box canyon, it seems more interested in her wet womanhood than in her flesh.

 

Author/s: Christie Sims and Alara Branwen

Narrator: Pepper Laramie

Publisher: Dragon Style Press

Run Time: 38 mins

Audio Release Date: 20/11/2013

My Rating of ‘Taken by the T-Rex’: 2 out of 5

Purchase: Audible UK, Audible US

 

Review:

Wow … as if the very first handful of words don’t just sell this book to you right off the bat.

I’ll start off by saying that I bought this as a gift for a friend who then, as part of the gift said that I had to not only listen to it, but review it on my blog. I honestly can’t believe that I am about to review Dinosaur erotica on my blog. The shame is real. The uncontrollable laughter and sinking to his knees with tears in his eyes because I had ‘broken him’ was totally worth the shame of reviewing this on my blog, though! Frighteningly, he went off to show everyone around our workplace, proudly telling them I’d gotten him the best birthday present ever!

I’m amazed to say that this book wasn’t actually as bad as I expected it to be. Obviously with the absolutely ludicrous plot-line that featured humans living alongside dinosaurs, I expected it to be utter garbage. Even worse than garbage when a T-rex decides he’d rather have sex with a human female than eat her.

But it isn’t terrible. It’s by no means great, but not as bad as I, and no doubt every other person expects it to be.

The writing is strange. Strange because the author only seems capable of describing a dinosaur as a ‘Big Lizard’. Yet she can describe a penis or a vagina in five or six different ways. Heck, her main character even knows the concept of ‘fore and aft’ … yea, intelligent beyond her time period (which to be fair, she totally shouldn’t exist in any way) but totally incapable of using ANY other word to describe a dinosaur. That, along with the painfully monotonous narration (I mean SERIOUSLY! If you can’t get excited to narrate dinosaur erotica, then what can you get excited for?). The narrator (Pepper Laramie) seems to exclusively narrate erotica. I can only imagine the legions of bland erotica on audible. It’s a good job the book is only 38 mins long as her narration would have put me to sleep if it was any longer.

I would say that you’re probably better off buying the book version … but, let’s be honest, you probably aren’t any better off.

Back to the book.

The sex scene, as you can no doubt imagine, between the T-rex and the woman is incredibly awkward. So much so that I’m glad it only lasts for four minutes. Thank the Lord that T-rex doesn’t have any stamina. If anyone is curious as to the ins and outs (pun intended) of T-rex on lady intercourse, don’t hesitate to get in touch either via the comment section or, if you are ashamed to be seen to ask in public, via my contact page.

All in all, not as horrible as I expected but not the sort of thing I’d recommend to anyone unless, like me, you are buying it as a gag gift. 

On a side note; I’m going to go and scrub myself clean with wire wool. I feel dirty.